real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize