told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Everyone says I win the strip club
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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