are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
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Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
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Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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