there was a trapeze. enough said
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This baby is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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