He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I would fuck him just for his dog
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize