feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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