They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize