Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a fireplace last night.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize