i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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