It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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