My nipple is on Facebook.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize