You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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