I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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