im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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