My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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