"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize