My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
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When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
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So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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