She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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