NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
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I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
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I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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