I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
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votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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