apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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