Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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