I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize