I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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