sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You are a genius and a whore.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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