she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
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i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
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She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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