Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize