I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
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Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
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It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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