i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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