dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize