why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
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I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
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Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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