If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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