id be glad to
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize