I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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