I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize