would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize