im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
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Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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