how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
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I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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