It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize