Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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