Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
only you would photoshop your dick
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize