As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize