Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize