if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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