tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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