Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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