Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to calm my uterus...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize