drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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