would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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