We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
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sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
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No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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